With the little chimp of Kuna saying that it needs to continue to annex to pay for sewer infrastructure, it’s clear that it hasn’t learned to balance its budget. Expansion of NEW service is the only thing that should require the demand for additional revenue (and the new service itself needs to pay for the expansion). Annexing to increase capital funds to pay for existing service deficiencies is like paying off one credit card with another (higher interest) credit card! The chimp should have the balls to increase the existing user fee rates to cover the costs of fixing the deficiencies! Oh well, maybe it was neutured before it was stuck in the zoo…

I don’t mean to pick solely on the little Kuna monkey; Eagle deserves its fair share too. The Eagle Orangutan – as the single biggest steaming pile of sprawl in the valley – has no sewer treatment facility of its own (how apropos)! With the Boise Gorilla decrying the evils of “leap-frog” and “sprawl” development, everyone needs to keep in mind that the silver-back accepts payment to treat King Louie’s orangutan-poop by the trucker tank-full – all to try and satisfy the King’s quest for “rurban” fire.

If the Gorilla were truly interested in curtailing sprawl, it would stop King Louie’s endless march to the sea (and Canadian border) by refusing to sell its own sewer capacity (dampen the Orangutan’s quest with a little untreated effluent). King Louie’s current low-density target of homes per acre has effectively risen the land value in the city to such unattainable heights that it borders on economic racism.

From the top of the Orangutan’s pointed little head to the bottom of his furry little feet, he’s taken the position that it’s okay for certain people to sell him coffee in the morning, mow his yard on the weekend, and fix his SUV when it breaks down – but they, by God, will never live side-by-side with the King!

With all the monkeys screaming and throwing poop over territorial “Area of City Impact” issues, remember it was our Great White Ape in the statehouse that changed Idaho’s land use law, to specifically allow cities to annex land outside their respective areas of impact.

Since these impact areas are the only land the monkeys have made plans for, annexations outside these areas could never be considered thoughtfully planned, or in the best interest of the regional community. It is a violation of the people’s trust! The Great White Ape has disabled the only legal means to protect the little guy from the predatory monkeys’ shenanigans!

It’s a free for all land-grab/tax-grab – and we little humans better buckle down and cover up. Otherwise we will all become tenants in our own homes, spending our days hosing down the cages while the monkeys use us to practice their aim…

Even though we have a national reputation to uphold, we are not totally stupid up here in Idaho. Why do you think Bush came to Idaho to get our governor for his cabinet? Bush thinks Idaho is a national brain trust. We think what you guys did in Phoenix was so flippin sweet, we want to replicate it up here. Invite your friends, the door’s open.

Here’s a bit of primate information I collected some time back, that may apply and may be of interest to your readers:

EXPERIMENT

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string, and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result – all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.

Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know, that’s the way it’s always been done around here.

And that, my friend, is how a [government] policy begins.