Although McGee dodged a bullet
He didn’t learn his lesson
He harassed a young lady
With whom he wished to be messin’
This probation violation
Landed him in jail
For his political coffin
Has received its final nail!

Chuck Winder got an ally
In Brandi Swindell
If a woman didn’t get an ultrasound
She was surely bound for hell
They pleaded for a law
To take away a gal’s voice
But fortunately for all
It remains a medical choice.

The Dynamis project
Which makes energy from trash
Has split the Commishes
Two of whom are very brash
Tillman and Ulmann are out
Replaced by Case and Tibbs
Maybe now we’ll get to the truth
Instead of sorting through fibs!

Bishop Senator Crapo
While driving late a night
Was arrested for a DUI
After running a red light
It probably won’t effect
His political life
But needs to explain
To his kids, church and wife!

We’re standing on a cliff
An apparently steep ledge
When it comes to compromise
Both sides bets have been hedged
Harry Reid’s been a jerk
And Boehner is one too
No matter the outcome
It’s higher taxes for you!

Happy New Year from Poet Paul

Crapo has joined the ranks of Idaho politicos who have brought shame to the Gem State with his Sunday morning drunk driving arrest in Alexandria, Virginia, a Washington, D.C. suburb. At least he wasn’t in a men’s toilet stall.

Like most politicians who get caught red handed, Crapo issued the usual press release pleading foregiveness and vowing to not do it again–all after running a red light, getting stopped by coppers, and allegedly failing field sobriety tests. His blood alcohol level was reportedly .11.

“I am deeply sorry for the actions that resulted in this circumstance. I made a mistake for which I apologize to my family, my Idaho constituents and any others who have put their trust in me. I accept total responsibility and will deal with whatever penalty comes my way in this matter,” the statement continued. “I will undertake measures to ensure that this circumstance is never repeated.”

Perfect words coming from a Harvard and BYU educated Mormon Idaho Lawyer.

When former Senator Larry Craig got caught with his pants down (“I have a wide stance”) in the men’s room at the Minneapolis airport he told us he “intended to resign,” but recanted and has been trying to pay his legal bills with campaign funds. Craig chose not to run for election following the incident for which he was convicted.

Former Idaho Rep. John McGee ended up in the slammer earlier this year on sexual harassment charges while on probation for a DUI conviction. He too apologized after the drunk driving conviction.

George V. Hansen, once an Idaho Congressman, did time in a Federal prison for failing to file finance reports, but never apologized. In fact, he wrote a book critical of the U.S. Government.

POET PAUL’S TAKE:

Crapo’s arrest is on the police blotter
And will make for some juicy news fodder
So Mike I beg
Don’t get the attorney of Craig
Get the one hired by Butch Otter!

We haven’t seen a lot in the legacy media, but Tuesday’s council session was sort of like a lottery jackpot for some–at the expense of most.

Not only did the City Council grant itself 17% raises, they gave the mayor a similar bump and managed to come up with previously negotiated one time 2.5% bonuses for the COPPERS and FIREFIGHTERS, just in time for Christmas. Then for good measure they granted themselves monthly “expenses” of $150 to cover use of personal cell phones and cars within the city.

Price for pooping also went up about 70 cents a month with sewer fee increases. Doesn’t sound like much, but “incremental increases” are easier to slip into a bill than ask voter approval for a one time bond to remove phosphorus from the effluent. No one complains about 70 cents.

Apparently the tough financial times many residents are experiencing is lost on the Council. Boise increased the 2012 tax LEVY by 6.5% over 2011. Meanwhile property VALUES declined by about 2%. This results in a significantly higher tax as a percentage of property value.

Market value for Boise property was $23.7 billion in 2008 compared to $17.15 billion in the current 2012 assessment. Each year the Boise Councilors increase the budget at or near the maximum allowed 3%. Anybody see these figures in the list of “best cities to locate your business?”

The following note arrived from ACHD Commission Chairman Rebecca Arnold moments after the above was posted:

(“I thought you might find the email below interesting as it expresses an opinion different than that held by the Boise City council. Although I specifically requested that the email be read at yesterday’s meeting, the city council refused to do so. Obviously they did not want anything on their meeting tape to alert anyone that there is opposition to their actions. A 20% increase in the Mayor’s salary is unprecedented and unwarranted – I hope the media does not allow the City to quietly get away with this. In my opinion, the Mayor’s current salary is probably too much for the service he actually performs”).

Mayor and Council Members:
I realize that providing input to this body represents an exercise in futility as you seem to do whatever you want anyway. However, please read this email into the record at today’s Boise City Council meeting. I am a Boise resident and have been for more than 25 years. I do not recall ever having a council in place that has consistently raised taxes and fees as this one has. You have raised property taxes every year despite the recession (although you did, interestingly, only raise the property taxes half of the allowable amount during the last council election year) and it seems you have never seen a fee that you felt didn’t need to be increased. Enough is enough!!

I also question placing these items on the agenda for a day meeting when probably most of your constituents would be unable to attend. A night meeting would have been more appropriate to afford the public an opportunity to provide input.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Arnold

It seems the majority like
To ride through Garden City on a bike
But the city fathers
Whose power it bothers
Told the voters to go take a hike!
–Poet Paul

AND…

The Statesman said it in type
“Black Friday is meaningless hype”
Merchants don’t think
They’ll drown in red ink
For they welcome each credit card swipe!

Commish Sharon Ullman–an avid supporter of the project to date–was the one who made the motion which called for a LETTER to Dynamis telling them to repay a $2 million loan within 90 days. The firm is getting squeezed for time not only to come up with cash to the county, but to finance and build the proposed facility in time to meet an obligation to Idaho Power to provide electricity in early 2014.

The project has been the focus of controversy for two years and a local group calling it self
Idaho Citizens for Safe Environment and Transparent Government filed a lawsuit last week against Ada County over the Dynamis project. Included in their complaint is a claim the $2 million constitutes a loan, and it is illegal for counties to loan money to businesses. That claim, if sustained by the court court, could make the entire deal illegal and kill it.

Ada County chief civil attorney Ted Argyle is mention repeatedly in the 56 page complaint against the county and because he could be called as a witness or even become a defendant, the Commishes also voted to hire outside legal counsel to defend against the action.

Commissioner Ullman has previously said the board acted on Argyle’s advice at every step of the project and noted he was one of the prime legal architects of the agreements and contracts.

It would seem only appropriate for the Commishes to deduct the legal costs from the Prosecutor’s budget if the prosecutor’s office is found complicit or their advice causes the county to become liable for any judgements.

FROM POET PAUL:
Yzaguirre and Ullman have spoke
At Dynamis they now take a poke
They must’ve had helps
From Olympian Mike Phelps
Cause they have really improved their backstroke!

–Poet Paul

“Cyclops,” one of the most frequent commenters and loyal readers of the GUARDIAN closed his good eye Sunday for the last time, a victim of cancer.

For those who remember the name, we can now tell you Cyclops was Jim Monihan, a one-eyed bald guy who was an advocate of the common man and one of those guys who “got it” when it came to life, politics, and humor. Over the years he posted 1,135 comments on the GUARDIAN and most were written about 5 or 6 a.m.

Here is one of our favorites from a “Mayor Hotline” post:

“Be sure to scan through the remainder of team Daves shenanigans and read the call from Tom Sweeney.

The thought of some “Blithering Fool from city hall” standing around telling this man what he can and can’t do, just boils my blood. If there was ever a citizen’s fight that needs a champion, this is it!”

Twice when Team Dave attempted to garner support for a trolley, Cyclops visited the “public information” site in a downtown storefront passing out flyers with facts gleaned from the GUARDIAN.

He reveled in telling the story of being forced to a backroom table where citizens wishing to fill out “comment cards” sat to write their thoughts–AFTER Jim had a chance to share the “rest of the story” with them. No surprise that most folks were against spending money for a downtown trolley.

We will all miss the pirate who wore Hawaiian shirts and a black eye-patch.

When news reports surfaced–repeatedly–on local TV about the MTF lady (male to female transgender) conducting free breast exams in local Boise bars, our staff Poet Paul couldn’t resist weighing in–especially in light of the increased attention to groping at airport TSA checkpoints.

She posed as a doctor
In order to cop a feel
The “patients” complained
“Hey, What’s the deal?”
They didn’t like the degradation
Or treatment of this sort
If they wanted to be felt up
They’d go to the local airport!

Poet Paul

BSU’s Kustra has lately been able
To give the U of I a well-deserved label
His comments weren’t bad
For any U of I grad…
Can drink me under the table!