By Bill Goodnight
Fast forward to 2020:
“Boise City Council Passes Anti-flatulence Ordinance”
Last night the Boise City Council unanimously passed a ban on flatulence in all public places.
The ordinance requires that all businesses install point source detectors recently developed by the local tech start-up company U-point. These detectors should answer some public concern about false reporting by perpetrators who point at others. They can be purchased as apps on cell phones as well.
Thirty year North end incumbent Councilor Melissa Teightas prefaced the vote by saying: “flatulence is socially repugnant and physically revolting!” When an audience member labeled the ordinance as Orwellian, she responded, “1982 was 38 years ago get over it!”
The council also adopted a business tax to fund cessation classes which will include exercises to increase sphincter control and promote gas resorption. Classes are run by a private firm selected after a $24,500 study funded by the city.
The new law is known as the Natural Organic Substances Held In Tight ordinance and is said to have its roots in a smoking ban enacted in 2011.
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