In the realm of Southwest Idaho Cities, Boise stands head and shoulders above the rest as the “800 pound gorilla” with the “chimpanzees” of Meridian and Nampa growing up fast.
During the past 10 years as Boise City swung through the suburban jungle unchallenged, it intimidated the surrounding areas and annexed thousands of acres of territory along with the human inhabitants–often against their will.
In this theory of relativity we saw Meridian and Nampa evolve from humans to little monkeys, into agile chimps. They looked at the big gorilla and decided they too could grow up to be strong, powerful and dominant.
Thus THE MONKEY WARS began.
–First it was the little human homeowners who protested against being annexed into Boise. The big gorilla proved he could sit anywhere he wished and slapped down the homeowners.
–Then, the little monkeys of Star and Eagle wouldn’t play nice and tried to steal each other’s food in the form of annexation battles along Highway 16. Both want to evolve into chimps and get bigger like Meridian.
–Meridian outgrew its monkey suit, has evolved into a BIG chimp and may even evolve into a gorilla soon like its neighbor to the west, Nampa.
–The Kuna monkey is getting really frisky, wants to become a chimp and challenge Meridian. The Kuna monkey took a lesson from the Boise gorilla and said, “We can’t stop annexing!” They are fighting over monkey food–tax revenues–with Meridian.
–The Boise gorilla was unhappy when the Ada gorilla (an endangered species) fathered a new monkey in the form of the Avimor planned community–really a subdivision in monkey clothing. Boise took them to court. The Ada gorilla sighed like a frustrated parent.
–That prompted the Star monkey to run in and poke the Boise gorilla in his big hairy butt by pulling out of Blue Print For Smart Growth which is a phony plan to preserve habitat for monkeys, chimps and gorillas, but not the endangered humans.
–All the monkeys and chimps were happy when the Boise gorilla gave buses tothe regional transit system that can’t remember its own name, but the Garden City chimp went into a snit when it had to pay, so he went home and said, “take this bus and shove it.!”
–The Boise gorilla fights with everyone, but ALWAYS with the motherly Ada County Highway District gorilla. The ACHD and Boise gorillas have a common law marriage, but dad cheats on her and threatens divorce each election season. The ACHD gorilla still washes his clothes and prepares his meals, but the spark has faded from their relationship.
–It is obvious that you can’t put diverse species of apes in the same monkey cage or they will make life miserable for each other.
All this monkey business proves annexation law that allows sub divisions only in cities and enables cities to annex at will, leads us to one conclusion:
The Treasure Valley monkey JUNGLE will soon become an urban ZOO!
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