Interesting Stuff

Iraq War Solution

The GUARDIAN walked out of the pharmacy on Vista with a refill of blood pressure medicine– to treat a condition no doubt caused by severe growthophobia.

There “in his face” was a bright red Hummer with a grille guard and gigantic chrome wheels with tires meant for a road grader. After muttering the usual epithets about “gashog, why does anyone need one of those, he must have physical inadequacies, etc.,” the reason for prolonging the war in Iraq became obvious.

The GUARDIAN barely suppressed the urge to stick an IUD up the tailpipe just for being there!. No wonder the Iraqi people keep blowing them up. They are ugly, they are intrusive, in-your-face, burn too much fuel, and cost too much.

Get the HumVees out of Iraq and peace will follow.

Comments & Discussion

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  1. Don@IdahoRadio
    Sep 12, 2006, 11:42 pm

    Hopefully you were shopping the friendly pharmacy near the friendly moxie java and friendly vista book gallery and other friendly shops.

    But did you really want to stick an iUd up the tailpipe? If so… that’s quite the visual image… and maybe perfectly appropriate.

    If you meant iEd… well, I might applaud that too.

  2. I have great respect and praise for those who risk everything to keep us safe. We need to take better care of them….here and overseas.

    The Iraq solution? I do not know. It is a religious war however, as we would not be fighting if they were Catholics or something.

    Invading Iraq was clearly for false reasons, but now that Iraq is a bug-light for the bad guys, it’s probably best to contain it over there somehow.

    I suppose one could argue it’s an oil war because we need the oil. I disagree though, as we get so much oil from other places without warfare. (russia, north sea, mexico, etc.) Thus I believe we fight because they hate us and now have the money to engage us.

    Our chief weakness is the dependence on their high-grade oil. Their chief weaknesses is they are dependent on the west for everything but sand and that goofy religion.

    They hate us for religious and ideological reasons. Our oil money gives them reach.

    As you can see by looking at the situation, they should be at a significant disadvatage. Thus if we lose it will not be because we could not win, it will be because we could not organize the will to win within the democratic west, and the US in particular. Let us pray we can renew our focus and committment without another reminder of the true scum we face.

    The FDR Government had to spend much effort on keeping the US citizen focused on WWII even though it was a fairly well defined war. It lasted from about 1939 til late 1945, with the US officially entering the fight in late 1941. So the US was in a hot-war only about four years. (This one has lasted 5 yrs. so far.)

    The G is right, we do have a problem to solve. I’ve seen this movie before and didn’t like the end.

    PS: A hummer is a hog, but did you know that one 747-400 can burn more than 50,000 gallons of JetA on one long flight? (about 3000 gals./hour) Hmmmm….Telecommute anyone?

  3. Wow! If I didn’t know better, I’d think your rant sounded like jealousy cuz that guys got a bigger …. er … vehicle than you do!

    I like your theory, though: Get the HumVees out of Iraq and peace will follow.

    Well, the insurgents are trying to help — they blow up HumVees every chance they get. Of course, if we got them out of Iraq, they’d all be here — then, eventually, plain ol’ civilians could get HumVees (as we did with WWII Jeeps) instead of their dolled-up offspring, Hummers. Ho, boy — let’s clear out some traffic!

  4. I’ll bet the King of Saudi Arabia very much likes it that we drive Ford Global Warmers, Obeseditions, Chevy Subdivisions and Hummers. It keeps him and the entire US-hating Middle East rolling in dough.

    Driving an SUV is the equivalent of driving a gigantic middle finger. The ones with the chrome family crusher guards on the front manage to be goofy and threatening at the same time.

    “Hummer – Like Nothing Reasonable.”

  5. The statement “The GUARDIAN barely suppressed the urge to stick an IUD up the tailpipe just for being there! No wonder the Iraqi people keep blowing them up” is offensive to me and probably many other people.

    There are some people around here who have been killed and maimed because a terrorist detonated a bomb under their Humvee. Blowing up someone’s car is a bad thing to fantasize about.

    Do you know the difference between a Hummer and a Humvee? Humvees are military vehicles. Hummers are a way American civilians can directly donate to oil-rich Middle Eastern nations and look tough while doing it.

    EDITOR NOTE–This veteran means no offense of the soldiers. The humor is the reference to an iUd up the tailpipe…several readers got the joke.

  6. BoiseCitizen
    Sep 13, 2006, 6:41 am

    And they are federally TAX DEDUCTIBLE. Can you believe that crap? GM managed to sneak in a tax loop hole for the Hummers when they first came out. Anyone who drives one should be sent to Iraq for drivers education on what it means to be a REAL HUMMER driver. Talk about a vehicle that screams: “I am an arrogant s.o.b.”. I love the irony of seeing one with a “support our troops” sticker on it.

  7. curious george
    Sep 13, 2006, 7:35 am

    First, let me say I agree with you.

    But an IUD (Intra-Uterine Device) is a little different than an IED (Improvised Explosive Device). The former keeps a “blow up” from happening, the latter causes one…

    But, maybe you’ve subconsciously tapped into the real nature of the relationship between Humvees and their owners – of course the tailpipe’s the wrong place to insert an IUD.

    Or is it 😉

    EDITOR NOTE–Check the other commenters.

  8. Peace may follow in Iraq with the departure of U.S. Troops, but not lasting peace. Lasting peace will not truly take hold until the people of the Middle East learn to love their children.

    Guardian, as I have said before, I believe your analogies are in poor taste. Our young men and women doing their job in Iraq and the vehicle they drive has nothing to do with the violence. Trying to compare any aspect what is happening here in Boise with Iraq is wrong and dishonor to those giving their lives in this war.

    Forget applying a global slant to something that is a local problem. You do a great job without having to present items in this way.

  9. Oh my Clancy. How naive. Maybe you should dose up on a little Tom Friedman, pull your head out of the sand and learn a little about the world you live in. The Guardian was certainly baiting us with his humor but nothing is so outrageous as your statement that the people of the Middle East don’t love thier children.

    I’m sure that the thousands of Iraqis who died fighting Saddam at our urging in 1991 put their lives on the line just for us and not for their or their children’s future. Don’t make judgments on a huge portion of the planet based upon the actions of a few fanatics. Making sweeping generalizations about an entire region of the earth based upon what you might catch on your nightly news report is the height of xenophobia and gives me great concern for the future of democracy in this country when viewpoints like yours are meant to be pursuasive in our democratic process.

    “Our young men and women doing their job in Iraq and the vehicle they drive has nothing to do with the violence.” You tell that to the families 30 to 40 thousand civilian men women and children who have been killed in this dirty little war. Like them, our reason for being there is a moving target. The worst thing we can do to our troops is to allow our government to perpetuate the lies that provide them a less than honorable reason for their service. As Shakespeare wrote all those years ago: “Now, if these men do not die well, it will be a black matter for the king that led them to it; whom to disobey were against all proportion of subjection.” But continuing to believe that we can spread democracy from the barrel of a gun is only one such perpetuating delusion.

    Oil is at the center of our presence in the Middle East on a dozen different levels. As many readers point out, our wealth and the wealth of the world has been streaming over to the Middle East and the governments in the region will continue to utilize this to their own selfish ends whether its the Saudi royal family getting fat and happy by maintaining an oppressive regime to subjugate the poor in their country giving strength to the bin Laden’s of the region, or Iran who will exert more political power in the region by giving Hezbollah not only rockets but cash to rebuild when the Israelis strike back.

    If we don’t lower gas prices and reduce the industrial world’s dependence on foriegn oil, no pie in the sky foreign policy will save us from ourselves. People driving Hummers are an integral part to terrorists’ financial network.

  10. Do you see all the scum in Cuba today. All the bad guys assembled in one place. Kinda like when you get several flies with one swat, and only 90 miles away…geeez. It’s almost like a 007 movie. Too bad we don’t have the colective will as a nation to define, spotlight, and eliminate our sworn and demonstrated enemy.

    That would be a short term fix….long term, I agree with G. The Hummer and other flashy waste should go…..

    Hmmmm IUD?? An inlaw of mine envisioned a little baby stroller mounted car zapper. He figures he can go for morning walks and silence noisy cars while their owners sleep off their hangover.

  11. Sis, how does lowering gas prices save us from ourselves or reduce our dependence on foreign oil? A lower price provides no incentives for those people driving the Hummers to quit going to the store for a gallon of milk. Which ends up costing more in gas than paid for the milk.

    A dramatic increase in the gas price is the quickest way to reduce our dependence on oil. This would jump start many other ways of reducing dependency. Public transit, rideshares, and bikes would be better utilized. Also, new technology and implementation into our daily transportation life would speed up.

    And may cause me to read a little Thomas Friedman.

  12. Sort of an aside, but the recurring comments about our dependence on foreign oil reminds me of something I overheard a while back:

    First guy, “I think it’s good we buy a lot of foreign oil; we should quit using our oil and use only foreign oil.”
    Second guy, “What? Why?”
    First guy, “Because eventually we’d use up all their oil. Then they’d be out of oil and we’d have all the oil and we could set the prices, sell it only to those we like, and control everything.”


  13. With regard to Gordons last, Why don’t we use our power over food supply? My guess is…. but someone please tell me for sure…. most of the people who hate us in this world: 1)eat our food, 2)go to school here, 3)get medical help here, (here being the west or US.) I really gotta wonder how many shiploads of cheap subsidised US grain go to Iran each year.

  14. Thanks Clancy. Small point well taken. And I agree with the logic except don’t you think it would have been wiser policy to follow the European example of artificially raising the price of gas as a policy matter through a tax to pay for infrastructure like roads and research and development of alternative energy sources. This would have accomplished the same incentives for conservation, filled our coffers instead of foriegn governments, and left us in a better position when the inevitable inflation of the price of oil happened. This proposal was routinely made but defeated by oil companies and their cronies in Congress. Now our energy needs are heavily oil dependent and little effort has been expended towards conservation making us vulnerable to foriegn powers with oil.

    Also I appreciate the follow up opportunity because relaying the painstaking research and knowledge of Thomas Friedman in this blog about this topic is daunting. It was he who made the point recently that the administration’s failure to address oil prices is furthering the instability in the Middle East by increasing the wealth of rogue states like Iran. Reducing dependence on foreign oil through conservation methods was one such suggestion. But I don’t expect a millionaire from Texas or Wyoming will provide the kind of leadership on this issue the nation needs. I strongly urge folks to read his column in the Times or his best selling book.

  15. We’d have a lot fewer terrorists if Bush had gone after the criminals who did the 9/11 deed in the first place. Only another moron would belive we are in Iraq spreading democracy, or defending freedom. It’s about the second largest oil spigot in the world. When has this country ever cared about brown people when we want what they got?

    We didn’t care what Saddam did to his people when he was our guy and the oil was flowing. We didn’t care about the Shah of Iran did to his people when the oil was flowing. This is a war of economics not religion. Religion, like blind patriotism is the ruse to get morons to do your bidding while money grubbers plant an iud up the publics tailpipe.
    Guardian, you could end up in Guantanimo for even thinking that way and I hate to think what they are capable of sticking up your tail pipe.

  16. When a country engages in an illegal or genocidal war , the part of those People who are profiting from the war, often use military like psychology on the rest of the population that disagrees with them. To me a Hummer is just one instance..there’s the government controlled American mass media ,which profits from glorifying the war and hiding the truth about it from the American People….then there’s the destruction of our American liberties by politicians and the business’s that profit from keeping them in office.

    Then of course there’s the use of religion and repeating that ” God is behind our military efforts.” I know of no God who blesses mass murder or genocidal wars for profit. The same people ,again, who profit from war, often use fear and intimidation pschology on those who would rather fight for Peace.

    I remind you all of Pastor Niemoller.. Were he able to see America today, he would have a grave warning for us all ” Those who love war are destined to die in it’s ugliness!”

  17. Sis, I did not say who that increase would go to. I think the goverment may be good but they have been shown waste a little money now and then. The big oil companies could be suited under goverment regulation as they are in the business of energy. Many are already working on alternatives to oil and they have the distribution networks. I would prefer Honda because they have a Hydrogen car/home power generation station coming to our shores in 3 years.

    There is a book hitting the shelves today, Internal Combustion by Edwin Black. He explores all the myths and realities of oil and energy. He explains what happens with low oil prices.

  18. Amen John and Joe. And I submit that it is a local issue. We recognize we are in the handbasket and we know where its headed. Its up to each of us to point out how we all participate in making a global footprint and we should set the example for changing our nefarious ways. Nobody’s perfect, I’ve taken one of the online quizzes and my score is way too high, but I recycle, ride my bike most days and resist the urge to consume. The worst thing we can allow is cynicism resulting in apathy whether its in your personal habits or in politics.

    Oh and did you see the cartoon on the last page of the Scene section of the daily. Particularly appropriate to this post.

  19. I wonder how long it took the representatives of war profiteers, AKA the “current administration” to recognize the Sept.11 attacks for what they have become — a BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY!

    It ain’t -just- oil. There’s all kinds of money to be made over there. Especially since Cheney as secretary of defense drastically downsized the military, creating all kinds of opportunities for profit minded contractors, who are ripping the country off with impunity, and all too often at the peril of our troops.

    I am baffled as to why there is so little outrage at all this profiteering, and outraged at how some companies are getting off the hook with the flimsiest of excuses (e.g. “The contract didn’t specify that the trucks had to work”).

    If congress put half the energy into investigating this ongoing ripoff as it gave to a stained blue dress, there would quite a few of Bush, Cheney and co.’s friends in prison now.

    If treason defined as waging war agains the US or giving aid and comfort to its enemies, what do you call it when you -use- the US to wage war, for private gain?

    I’d still call it treason.

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