City Government

Carpet Review Take Two

Here is a GUARDIAN READER shot of the new carpet in City Hall which caused the great phone call to the Mayor’s hot line…we reprinted the transcript as well.

New Carpet: I’m calling in regards to the embarrassingly hideous carpet in city hall. I recently visited the third floor and I got out of the elevator and was completely nauseated to see the carpet. On the first floor, there isn’t that much carpet, but what there was seemed ugly but not that bad. On the third floor it was weakening; I had to sit down to regain my balance and I couldn’t possibly imagine how anybody thought it was a good idea to install flooring that was like moldy tetra. I halfway expected to hear Fleetwood Mac playing. Not only does the carpet scream, an engineer showed me it’s reminiscent of a killer mutant virus, and that unless you possess a super charged immune system, it will suck every drop of energy out of each of your cells until you are completely incapacitated by its repulsiveness. I actually was terrified that the parasitic worm design was going to crawl out of the floor and under my skin. I realize this sounds suspiciously like I was under the influence, which I would like to clarify that I was not, but if I had been, I would never have made it out of the elevator. I suppose that if the decorator’s intent was to keep intoxicated citizens out of the mayor’s office, or was a subversive attempt to create effusiveness in the city council members, then he or she was pretty successful. However, if the intent was to create a sophisticated and urban reflection of what we hope our city grows into, I think it was a shameful and tacky failure. Thank you.

Comments & Discussion

Comments are closed for this post.

  1. Dave – I was expecting it to be MUCH worse. No big wup. I like to think maybe Team Dave got an excellent deal on it, ‘cuz it just wasn’t moving at Carpets R Us. (At least that oughtta be the spin.)

  2. Looks like a map of the city council’s logic process in it’s growth at all cost agenda.

  3. Did anonymous forget to take his/her medication that day?

    That said, if I squint just right, I can see a special effect straight out of the Matrix movie franchise.

  4. That Other Guy
    Jan 14, 2008, 11:38 pm


  5. It looks an awful lot like the Matrix.

  6. ‘Fleetwood Mac playing’….oh yeah they were the biggest drug band in the 70’s. Thank goodness the person writing the comment hasn’t heard of the Beatles and ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.’

  7. I agree with the caller though not about Fleetwood Mac. Its more like techno. Chemical Brothers maybe.

  8. The picture is good, but it just doesn’t do the carpet effect justice. The caller is right. Your visual senses are overpowered by the disorienting affect of the carpet with you first step off the elevator. You get used to it over time, but it is a terrible distraction.

    I am not one to heap criticism on others for fun, and I recognize that the carpet, however awful, won’t disrupt the life of your average Boisean. I do think we ought to take care to make our public spaces attractive. I doubt better carpet would cost much more (that is, unless, the carpet was picked because it was on super sale). We should give City Hall the same aesthetic attention that we give our parks.

    By the way, does anyone know who selected the awful carpet?

  9. Oh, I dunno. Seems like officials’ taste in carpet is about the same as their taste in development projects to approve.
    Did you expect anything else?

  10. AMEN GORDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. chessplayer
    Jan 16, 2008, 6:27 pm

    I think it’s actually an aerial view of Surprise Valley. Surprise!!

  12. When I stepped off the elevator I saw an image in that carpet of the Virgin Mary and Satan duking it out over which fastest growing city in the intermountain West has the most ugly buildings, uninspired architects, and city councils in developers pockets.

    Went to drop the kids at the pool and when I came back they were still at it.

  13. So what is this delightfully decorated space actually used for? Maybe the addition of a few cubicles would break up the pattern some and actually put the space to use.

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